So I work for a bank (a credit union, actually). I also work in their call centre. When you call your bank and ask about transactions, balances, etc. then I’m the guy on the other end of the line. It isn’t always easy here, so here are a few things that people need to understand, and maybe you’ll get some tips on how to get your bank to work harder for you next time;
- Be prepared
There have been so many occasions where people will call in with a long list of requests but cannot, for the life of them, come up with an account number. Your account number is what sets you apart from everyone else. Look you up by name? Do you know how many John Carters and Bal Sandhus we have?! Sorry bud, get the account statement that we give you every month, or the debit card that we provided you with so you can buy stuff, then maybe we can help you better
- Shut the fuck up
Let us get a few words out there. Explain your problem as clearly and as consicely as you can and then let us give you our input. We cannot help you when you cut us off after every third word.
- We’re not your psychiatrists
We don’t want to hear your life story. We don’t need to know how you got on disability. We don’t need to know how you made a killing in the real estate market. We don’t need to know how you lost money on your retirement investments (though it’s mostly likely because you didn’t listen to us ten years ago). We just need to know what the problem is now and what you want us to do about it. Give us that, then we’ll go from there to solve your problems.
- Do NOT swear at us
How basic is this? If your mouth is dirtier than Britney’s vagina, then you’re not going to stand much of a chance at getting any decent help. The really bad ones will have their accounts closed. Don’t make us put a bar of soap in your mouth.
- Just because you’re rich, doesn’t mean you’re better
We believe in equality … we really do! I’m not impressed with your $500,000 savings account if you’re going to treat me like OJ treated Nicole Brown. The guy with $500 in his account and knows how to use the words “please” and “thank you” will get results quicker than you will.
- Use a pen and paper
If you can’t remember what I’m telling you, it would be a good idea to jot it down. Most people will need to write down a 10-digit phone number if they need to refer to it. How on earth are you going to remember the amounts of 10 different transactions?
- Privacy Laws are still LAWS
Canada has quite a lengthy Privacy Act which prevents us from disclosing personal information to anyone who is not authorized to receive the information. What this means is that if you haven’t set up an agreement with your bank saying that you are, in fact, allowed to receive information about an account, then do not assume you can receive in the information. That means you cannot ask us where your son or daughter spent their money if you’re not a signer on the account, which brings me to my next point;
- Become a joint signer or a Power of Attorney if you need access to an account
This is the only way we can allow you access to an account. To further clarify the word “only” means ONLY, as in there are NO other ways to get around it.
- People make mistakes
We are human and are capable of mistakes. If you found an error in your account, bring it up with us in a calm collected manner and we will do our best to help you out. We are not so conceited that we won’t admit mistakes, and we LOVE helping people who are not constantly throwing bitch fits. However, if your temper is set off quicker than tabloids can get a picture of Katie Holmes’ shaved privates, then kiss your chances of a quick resolution GOOD-BYE
- The Golden Rule
My final point is to treat us how you want to be treated. Everyone gets the service they deserve. Simple, yeah?
So that’s as much as I can think of right now. I’m sure many other people out there feel the same way about their own jobs. Ever had a really bad experience with customers before? Let me know